“Logic Problem: Any romantic relationship” -Demetri Martin

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about relationships and as I am suppose to get in touch with my feelings or whatevs this Lent I’ve let my mind wander on the subject which I would normally ignore. The thing about feelings/emotions/love is that these things are not logical. I don’t mean in the way that they don’t make sense (well.. they don’t but here’s why), I mean in the way that they’re completely separate entities from the rational/logical part of our brains.

As much as I love imagination, love getting lost in art and movies and books, love making up stories and drawing out fantastical creatures, I’ve realized that in the realm of love and emotions I’ve followed the path of logic and reason. Why? Because it is the safest way to go. It is the path too often traveled, and it is high time I followed in Mr. Frost’s footsteps. 

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” -Albert Einstein

The trouble with following the logical path with relationships is that our knowledge derived from logic can lead us to down ourselves. For example: I am well dress; I’m well raised, well educated, well versed, multi talented, extremely faithful (to friends, family, and my religion), and I’ve got a great sense of humor. By all logic I should be taken already, right? Well since I’m not there must be a logical reason why I’m not: I’m slightly obsessive compulsive, I’m only five feet tall, I have too many goals, I overuse sarcasm, I’m a mega nerd…There must be something wrong with me right?? Wrong! Why is this wrong? Because I’ve made the assumption that relationships derive from logic and I know that these things are not based on any sort of logic [the reason why emotions and feelings are so scary]. So let’s dismiss knowledge as a means of weaseling your way into a relationship. Let’s start using imagination. The only real way to grasp what it is that dictates feelings is to try and imagine a world where you’re not going to die a spinster, a world where there’s nothing wrong with who you are and where you just haven’t met that right person, a world where yes that guy will eventually ask you out, a world where anything is possible, even if logic dictates it’s highly improbable.

So for all my lovely singles out there the only thing I can really say is that logically all us amazing people should be paired off by now, but since love is born of something illogical and unobservable, we must be patient and let our imaginations show us that there is hope beyond knowledge. After all, Harry and Sally took years before they got married, Mr. Sheffield waited five years to tell Fran how he felt about her, and Aragorn couldn’t marry Arwen until he took his rightful reign as king of Middle Earth [and so on and so forth]

this use to be a blog about my rambles? Well, here comes one now….

So the last movies I’ve watched have been Crazy, Stupid, Love; An Affair to Remember, Once, and When Harry Met Sally. Combine those movies with many a girl-talk sessions and you get “Leika’s Theory on Why She and Her Equally Amazing (if not more so) Gal Pals Are Still Single”. So here goes:

A) We are a generation of girls who grew up with the Disney princesses. This is not a complaint, this just illustrates that we have very high standards for the potential prince who may sweep us off our feet. High standards equals picky girls, equals single for long periods of time.

B) A common factor amongst us is that we’re pretty independent. I think this just confuses boys cause on the one hand we want to do things for ourselves, but on the other it’s nice when guys open doors, or pulls out chairs, or stands up at the dinner table when a lady excuses herself (à la El laberinto del fauno). This is somewhat our fault for creating this confusion, but I think it just boils down to timing- don’t start doing this stuff until you know we’re comfortable enough for us to give up a little bit of our independence

C) Another common factor among us is that throughout life we’ve generally had more guy friends then girl friends. When you become one of the boys, it tends to make breaking that barrier a tad bit more difficult. Plus, when most of your friends are boys they tend to want to protect you from potential heartbreak as if you were a sister, and no one wants to be the heartbreaker of a girl with a lot of strapping men as besties. But I do want to say that “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” is complete b.s. Friendships withstand awkwardness (take Rachel and Joey from Friends or Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother), I really think it comes down to the complication of being one of the guys and a little sister at the same time.

D) We’re busy. This isn’t the excuse “I’m too busy for a relationship”, this is “I’ve got twenty million things to do and if you’re not already in my life and I don’t feel that connection with you then I can’t waste my time trying to forge a relationship with you because I’d rather use my free time hanging out with people I already know and like”. It sounds harsh, but that goes back to point A: we’ve got high standards and we know exactly what we want and if you’re not it then we’d rather not waste our or your time.

E) This is probably the biggest one for me. Now, you (the reader) may not be religious, but I am. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about me trying to convert anyone or trying to say that my beliefs are the “right” ones. I respect all and love all. Period. But this factor is the reason I’m really really really picky. I’m Roman Catholic, and a practicing Cathy at that. I do believe there is a God and I have a pretty good relationship with Him. I feel that here’s a guy who is absolutely perfect- no one can out perfect God. I can be vulnerable, angry, joyful, sorrowful around Him. I don’t have to pretend to be anything I’m not. I don’t have to explain myself or how complicated my life is. He knows about everything that happens with my life, He knows all my secrets, He doesn’t judge or pity me, and I’m the most “me” when in His presence, and I know He loves me, cares for me, knows what’s best for me, and He protects me. If you don’t know me, I’m a pretty proud person. I like to keep up my tough exterior and have life seem easy, breezy, beautiful… I’m a Covergirl, but only in the sense that cover my inner thoughts and feelings a lot. The only person who I’ve allowed past the charade is God, and I’m not sure if I can set my pride aside for another person. I know that it is impossible for me to find someone more perfect then God, but I think (I hope) I can find someone who, although not perfect, will be perfect for me. Someone I can… not tear down my walls for, but I can allow to peak over my walls. Someone who loves me without pity no matter what went on or goes on in my life. But most importantly someone who strengthens my relationship with God. I want to be with someone that together we’re better than apart, and that together we’re that much more connected to our faith.

Well, there you go. Reasons why so many really great girls are still “on the market”. Maybe we can all just become nuns together, I actually wouldn’t really mind it.. as long as I get to work in an orphanage haha